I starred in a Chastity Documentary…

Before my Mistress and I unfortunately parted ways we had the opportunity to feature in a documentary on Chastity that was being filmed for BBC 3!  As it has now been aired (a while ago, I don’t seem to have been able to find the time to write this) I am able to break my silence on it.

The timing of this was a bit awkward, after a couple of months of discussions finally a filming date was found after I had already indicated to Mistress about my wish for us to part ways.  We still continued to do the programme though as we wanted to try and show some positive aspects of the fetish, how it can be fun, and also as it might have made good advertising for her.

The day itself was quite fun.  I was very nervous as here I was meeting two strangers (a woman I’d spoken to a few times and the camera man who was going to be the main person asking questions (though it was done in a way as if I was just talking).  They were both really great though, putting me at ease and made me feel like things were normal – they genuinely just seemed curious without seeming to judge me.

We chatted for what seemed like ages, before we took a journey to Mistress Nikky’s dungeon.  When there they chatted for a while before we had a small session, then they chatted to us both after.  I can’t be complementary enough about the team at ‘The Connected Set’ for how at ease I think we both, but definitely I felt.

However when the actual show was finished I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little disappointed with the end product.  It was a little shorter than we’d been lead to believe, and their need for a narrative (understandable) meant that so much had been cut regarding the bond me and Mistress Nikky genuinely shared.  Still, they did a good job of keeping me anonymous and hopefully people saw it/gained a better understanding of chastity, and having watched it got hooked on Mistress Nikky as I think everyone should!

It’s no longer on BBC 3, it must have had a really short release time, but you can view it on Youtube here: 

 

The post I didn’t want to write…

Okay this post is a little bit late, mainly because part of me didn’t want to admit it, but I am no longer in chastity.  Mistress Nikky French was perfect and seriously the best Mistress/Keyholder I could have ever asked for.  She was kind enough however to allow me to attempt a vanilla relationship.

Obviously I paid a penalty to Mistress to compensate her for breaking our agreement.  It wasn’t a decision I took lightly, the months having Mistress Nikky as my Mistress were some of the most fulfilling of my life, I managed to explore a side of me that I had only fantasised about.

I really didn’t anticipate ending our arrangement anywhere near as soon as we did, I have not been interested in many women in my life and was not actively seeking a relationship, Mistress was taking up most of my concentrations.  However there had always been one woman that had a large hold on my heart, that circumstances had never allowed me to pursue and now actually have.  She’ll probably never know what I gave up for her, but I hope we will make it work.

The decision was really tough, however as close as I was to Mistress, the bond which I’m sure we had developed, I knew that she was my Mistress and could not progress beyond that, whereas now I at least have the chance for (it’s really too soon to say this but you never know) a long lasting relationship that could lead to marriage/kids etc etc…

I can never thank Mistress Nikky enough for everything she did for me whilst being my owner, I will never forget it, I’m sure when I’m old and grey I will look back on this time as one of the best experiences of my life.  If anyone has any urge to visit a Domme I recommend it, and definitely Mistress Nikky, she really is an incredible person.

Never annoy your Domme…

So last week I managed to communicate poorly with Mistress Nikky, which lead to her being very disappointed with me, totally my fault and as such in my session last Friday I decided that I didn’t deserve anything fun but a punishment.  Mistress is a bit of a sadist so this was music to her ears I believe.  In my sessions with her so far there hasn’t been a huge amount of pain involved, just little short moments, usually focused around the balls.

For my punishment Mistress restrained me to her whipping bench… I was totally immobile with legs and body tied to it and wrists connected underneath… she then gagged me for the first time… I had been really scared to even suggest this, I knew it was going to really hurt but I also knew I deserved it.

In the end, I believe Mistress probably went easy on me, but oh my, I am not one for Corporal Punishment.  I expected it to be bad but it was worse than that and an experience I have no desire to reenact.  The 5 canes I took at the end had me actually feeling rather light headed and after it was over I was really cold… but Mistress was great with her after care, making sure that I was okay.  I hope that she thinks I have been punished enough as I really don’t want to displease her again.

Approaching a Domme

I am often baffled by the way some “submissives”/”slaves” approach a Domme. In my position as Mistress Nikky‘s own slave I often see some of them, but not only here also just following people on Twitter you become aware of how some people really have no idea.

I know lots of them are really just guys looking for a quick few words to help them with their immediate satisfaction goals, these are not the ones I am talking about.  It’s those who actually want to serve but fail completely at their approach… I have a few different types of guys:

Those who say nothing:
I find it incredible that your first message to a Domme would just be “Hey”.  Do they think that the Domme is just sitting around waiting for someone to chat to?  That message gives no indication of whether or not you’ll be worth their time, so why would they respond to that?

Those who think they do it for fun:
I’m not saying Dommes don’t enjoy their jobs, but at the end of the day this is how a Professional Domme makes a living.  Take the message to the right, he bought (a fairly expensive gift, and was hoping that this could be offset against a session.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure a Domme loves any gift you buy her, but something from her wishlist isn’t going to pay her bills!

At least this person bought a gift, there are others that think just because they have a fetish that is something a Domme really enjoys then they’ll be happy to partake in either a long discussion about it or even assist them more than that… seriously do people think that this is going to help the Domme pay her rent?

Those who are ridiculously demanding:
From my experience Dommes are really busy people, they have to have multiple ways to turn their profession into a good income therefore they often have to plan when they will be doing sessions versus when they might be spending time on cam/phone and then also when they might respond to requests from subs, when they film content and when actually they actual have a life of their own.  It’s because of the last bit that most will have recommended times to call their number or preferential ways in which to contact them to arrange what you desire.  So many however seem to get frustrated when a Domme isn’t immediately available – how would you like it if she answered a call in the middle of your session?

I recommend that before you approach a Domme for the first time you read this wonderfully sarcastic post by Mistress Michelle Lacy, it will help you appreciate the interaction from their point of view.

Some tips from me are:

• Read everything about them before contact (likely they’ll have a website, my wonderful Mistress’s site is here:
• If they mention how is best to contact them use that as a first step.
• Introduce yourself but not excessively and let them know what you are looking for from your interaction.
• Make sure there is plenty of time – don’t call them asking for a session in an hour!
• If you’ve arranged a session make sure you have told them what you want from it, they aren’t a mind reader!
• If they ask for a deposit pay the deposit.  No Professional Dominatrix is going to risk their reputation by just taking a persons deposit without then providing a service, however Dommes are stood-up a lot!
• If a Domme says she doesn’t do something, then she doesn’t do it, you wont change her mind mid session just because you think you’re the one to change them.

On a similar note I’ve had some people tell me I’m lucky to be owned by Mistress Nikky.  Yes I do feel really lucky, however I don’t think it was down to luck, I work hard for her and try and make myself useful to her, not because she asks me to but because I want to!

I think I’ve made approaching a Domme really daunting here, but to be honest it should be.  This is a woman you’re hoping to serve, you should be cautious about what you are saying in your message as they reflect you and that first interaction is going to form a first impression, you want to start off on the right foot!

 

12 hours of freedom… but no orgasm

As I’ve mentioned before I’m lucky enough that my Mistress (Nikky French) and I have become actual friends, we have more than just a Domme/sub Keyholder/chastity slave dynamic.  As a result she came to visit me for the first time on Monday.  I live in a town near to where she often works but it’s not exactly by where she lives.

We started by just catching up (it had been 15 days since we last saw each other) and then just running through a few things to do with her business and how we can help make sure she reaches as many people as possible (follow her on Twitter for any updates).  I feel really privileged  that she trusts me to help with such things and values my opinion on them.

After this we were going out to dinner, but since this was the first time since Mistress had placed her lock on me that I was with her and a shower she graciously let me clean myself properly first.  After which she decided it would be fun if I didn’t wear the device all evening, fun for her at least…

We had a lovely dinner, all the while I was concious that I kept becoming erect, feeling far more exposed than when I’m wearing my device, before returning to my place.  After hanging out and chatting for a fair while longer (it was a work night and well after midnight by this point) she retired to my bed, leaving me unlocked in the other room.  I thought at first that this would be a treat, I hadn’t slept unlocked at all in 2016 until this point, however it soon became apparent that sleep would be impossible… Spending any time with my Mistress leaves me horny as hell, but knowing that she’s sleeping in my bed and I’m there with an erection that I was not allowed to stroke, that was frustration.  I’m pleased that Mistress had the trust in me not to relieve myself but I am also sure I would have slept much more if I had been safely locked again for her.

The morning she made sure that I hadn’t relieved myself (I would never intentionally break her trust), then preceded to tease me mercilessly… after a night of basically no sleep I was totally helpless.  I think I was a quivering mess, almost sobbing it was so difficult.  After what seemed like forever I was locked back away with no relief and sent off to work.  The frustration lasted all day and doubled by the time I returned home to find her scent lingering in my flat.  That might sound like I am complaining, far from it, I wouldn’t change anything about the night, to me, like every second I have spent with Mistress, it was perfect.

Bon 4 Review

After my last session with Mistress Nikky I changed into my brand new device.  It is a Bon 4 silicone device, which I purchased from The Kinksters.   They were actually really good, initially I ordered the small as I misunderstood the sizes listed and as I returned it like new they replaced it without further charge.  I’m sure many people would suggest that the small is actually a better fit for me length wise but I like to be able to grow into it, if it’s too small I find it uncomfortable and it wakes me in the night.

Anyway, the device itself is as comfortable as I’d hoped, light enough and good width on the cage.  However I think I should have chosen the smallest ring, I went with the one the identical size as my old one however there wasn’t as much give in the material so it’s not on the tightest notch.  When I (hopefully) see Mistress on Sunday, if she has my key I may request trying the smaller ring.

With regards the device itself, the holes at the end are also smaller than I’m used to so it’s a little harder to keep clean but with regular washing not impossible.  It is also comfortably restricting when I achieve an erection – which has been a lot as Mistress has been kind enough to send me the video she plans on putting as a teaser on her website.  It’s really something – but for me it’s even more as I can see her key to my chastity cage dangling from her wrist.  I can’t explain what a thrill it is to see the evidence of her control over me on her other videos and images when I’m no where near.  I can’t believe how lucky I am at times.

Best hour of my life…

I think I’ve just had the best hour of my life with Mistress Nikky French.  As a sub being totally in your Mistress’s power is easily the best place to be.  Honestly, when I’m in her dungeon I lose track of time, I could have been there 10 minutes, it could have been 10 hours. I still remember how nervous I was going into my first session – I would urge anyone who has the desire but not taken the plunge to do so – particularly with Mistress Nikky as she’s so good with newbies.  I now look forward to that hour or so every month as if it’s what the rest of the month had been leading to.

My chastity counter is now set back to day 0, but honestly even if it was still 87 days it still would have been fantastic. She gets this playful evil look in her eye which is just incredible and shows how much she enjoys toying with you, having you at her mercy.  It is truly an honour to be hers.  I know I posted a few days ago about worrying how an orgasm might effect me, however Mistress has been just so great that I can’t imagine negative effects – I still feel just as dedicated to serving her.

I left the dungeon wearing my new Bon4 silicone chastity device. My previous device was just a replica purchased using eBay, whereas this time I wanted to get something official. It has only been on a few hours however first impressions are that it is just as comfortable and possibly more durable than my previous (which was starting to split – but only after a lot of wear and was still fine to wear). It also looks better as it’s slightly more see-through and of course no discolouration yet. However the holes are smaller which means that hygiene might turn out to be an issue. I will write a full post on it after I’ve worn it for some time.

Fear of an orgasm

I’m horny.  This is my default state, as I’m currently on day 85 of chastity the thought of an orgasm is rarely far from my mind, that and my wonderful Mistress Nikky French are what my mind always wanders towards.  That said the thought of possibly having an orgasm worries me.  As much as I am craving one I worry about the effect that it may have.

I know at the moment I am feeling very submissive, ever since Mistress first clicked her lock onto my cock I’ve felt really content with life.  My devotion to her has just grown each day with every interaction.  The worry is that an orgasm may release some of this.  I’m sure that I will still be in awe of my Mistress and devoted to her – that didn’t leave me after my first session with her but it may reduce my overall submissiveness feeling.  I see people online talking about the dip that comes after an orgasm – I also don’t want to lose the submissive high that I seem to be on.

It seems like a bad trade to have a moment of ecstasy for a week or so where you are less than what you want to be.

That said, when I see my Mistress this weekend I’m still going to be hoping that she’ll decide that I deserve that release and the fear will definitely switch to the thought that she might make me wait even longer!  I do love that it is completely her choice though, I’d hate to know in advance that tomorrow was definitely going to be the day or definitely not going to be!  Excited to try on my new device (I bought a Bon4) when I do see her – will blog about that after I’ve had it on for a few days.

Thank you Mistress…

I know I’ve found the perfect Mistress for me.  I’ve known it since our first session, maybe even before then (I did my research and also spoke to her online), but I didn’t expect that I’d end up with a friend as well.

I’ve had a really rough week with family things.  Mistress knew this and has messaged me quite a bit, just the distraction of this has really helped.  Then on my way home she hung around in Bristol for a few hours to see me after her sessions (book one – they are amazing, now available in Cardiff as well!) We had a nice drink – in spectacular scenery and she happily listened to me talk.   When first searching for a Domme to see, never did I expect to find someone to go out of their way like that.

She has really kept my spirits up this week and I’ve never felt luckier – even if she did “forget” to bring the key to my chastity device (day 77)!  Though I would say when people say I’m lucky that I do think I work hard to make her happy and to please her, I don’t believe I’ve let her down yet, so if you find the right Domme and make yourself useful to them then good things happen.  I’m proud to be owned by her and really couldn’t imagine seeing anyone else.  Thank you Mistress.

My first ever Swamp

Yesterday I had the honour of attending my first ever Swamp along side my amazing Mistress Nikky French.  I had attended a the earlier part of the day once previously with a friend (where there was a rope workshop) but didn’t stay for the evening.  This came after I’d spent a long time travelling, without time to go home first.  As such I felt very under dressed, but I think what I was wearing was just about acceptable.

As I was arriving late I entered the venue on my own – which was incredibly nerve racking, particularly as everyone looked like they had made a massive effort.  It was made worse by the fact that on my first sweep of the room I didn’t spot Mistress (she was sort of in a corner with a friend who I hadn’t met previously).  Once I did find her I was much more relaxed – though still a little out of my comfort zone and nervous – the first drink helped.

After a while we moved to watch some of the people who were playing (including some that she knew.  Obviously I wont be disclosing any details about anyone but it was fascinating.  A few were playing with fire – which would terrify me as I’m back to being hairy again (it was too sharp when I shaved it – any smooth removal suggestions?)  but also because fire!  I’ve been taught all my life not to go too close to fire or you’ll get burned – but then they seemed to enjoy it.

I was then surprised when Mistress asked me to join her in the area, but obviously elated.  I hadn’t been expecting this but over the moon that she wanted to play with me.  She had me strip naked, before this moment only two people (Mistress and Saffita) had seen me in just my cock cage, whereas now I was in a room with dozens of people able to see.  Still by doing so, and showing that I was locked up I felt like less of an imposter as they could see that I was more fet orientated, plus with Mistress there I felt completely safe.  I trust her 100%.

Mistress had me on a bench and then preceded to paddle me with a few different items.  This was my first time properly being paddled and I feel that I disappointed Mistress with how much I could take.  It took me a while to force myself to relax rather than bracing for impact and I did try and push myself.  I think perhaps I need to have a whole session with Mistress just focusing on paddles/whips so we can work out which brings maximum tolerance from myself with enough pain/marks/sounds for Mistress’s liking.  I’m sure with training I’d get better.  When we stopped (after what was apparently a short time) my cage was literally dripping – so I must have enjoyed it.  Really it was a thrill to play with Mistress in front of people and just being close to her in general.  I hope I pleased her a little bit and I have to say she was great at pushing passed what I thought I could take but not taking it too far, I hope I can please her more in future!

Other than that we spent some time chatting to other people.  Mistress was quite happy to drop into conversation that I had been in chastity for her for 73 days.  On it’s first mention I was a little nervous but people were very accepting and it was a relief as I spend all day normally forcing myself not to mention it/talk about Mistress.  Was fantastic being in an environment where it is not shocking.  I also got to see other people embracing what they like which was also empowering and reassuring.

Overall it was a complete honour and a privilege to be seen out with Mistress and for her to introduce me to people that she knows.  I hope I didn’t let her down in any way and would jump at the chance at doing it again.  For anyone else who’s tempted to go to their first Munch/Swamp I’d really recommend it, people are open and friendly (at least at this one) just as long as you enter with an open mind.